Trying to live up to someone else’s expectations is not a good idea. The belief is that trying to satisfy someone who you are intimated by will somehow help you to win. Striving to impress other people will take away who you really are and slow down your progress to become the person you are meant to be.
In a previous job, I reported to someone who intimidated me. Part of it was his style. He believed that he was somehow more effective as an intimidating boss. My decisions were based on what I thought he wanted me to do. I wasn’t being myself. It was exhausting. It took so much energy to anticipate how I thought he wanted me to act that I had little energy left to be effective in my job. The stress of trying to meet his expectations was miserable.
I came to realize that I handed over control of my success to my boss. I lost my ability to make decisions based on what I knew was right and what made me happy. You lose a little bit of your soul when you give in to the need to impress other people. When I left that job, I made a promise to myself never to be intimidated by someone again. I have since forgiven him mainly because I recognized my responsibility to make the decision lead my own life. To remove the feeling of intimidation:
- Identify anyone who intimidates you. What about this person or these people makes you feel intimidated? Maybe they have achieved success that you aspire to achieve. Maybe you lack self confidence to own your own success. Be very clear and honest with yourself about why you are intimidated.
- Make the decision to not be intimidated. You may need to just start out acting like you are not intimidated. Eventually you will believe in yourself enough to avoid being intimidated by anyone. More about acting like your success can be found here.
- Be on the lookout. It is almost like avoiding an addiction. Once you are intimated by someone, you have to be aware of anytime you start feeling intimidated. Make the decision to not be intimidated as soon as you feel it.
Handing over your success to someone else because you are intimated by them will not lead to personal success. Your success becomes their success. After working for someone who intimidated me, I made the decision never to be intimidated again. I continue to find success on my terms, not anyone else’s. It is now my success.
“With confidence, you have won before you have started.” – Marcus Garvey
“I am master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.” - William Ernest Henley
Have confidence in yourself to keep anyone from intimidating you.
Who intimidates you? When have you been able to avoid being intimidated by someone?
I can totally relate to this post. It happened to me. And to get through it I did do all your points mentioned above, eventually. One gramatical note “lost my sole” or “lost my soul”?
Thanks for your reply. I think with most of my posts, people probably already do the steps, but (like me) could use an outline to help walk through the steps more effectively. Thank you so much for your grammatical note. I always appreciate someone helping me make corrections. I am my own worst editor.
A few years back I was the type of person who was easily intimidated. I would always “keep my head down” because I was usually concerned about getting yelled at over something I did. It is almost crippling, the feeling of being intimidated, and it can be hard to overcome.
Sometimes I still feel myself beginning to become intimidated; it feels almost like taking a mental step backwards, and that is when I catch myself. It does not mean that I am not afraid, but that I refuse to let someone control my actions with that same fear.
Thank you again for another wonderful post.
Yes. It can be hard to overcome. What’s important now is that we know what it feels like when we become intimidated and can catch ourselves. There is no benefit to being intimated. Thanks for your inspiring comment.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Definitely something I’m struggling with these days. Nice post!
I came so close to using this quote in this post. I recently used it for another post. I really gets right to the point, doesn’t it?
[...] times we make life harder than it needs to be. What makes life hard is when we do something to meet someone else’s expectations. Have you ever worked in a job that you didn’t enjoy or weren’t very good at doing? I [...]