Trying to live up to someone else’s expectations is not a good idea. The belief is that trying to satisfy someone who you are intimated by will somehow help you to win. Striving to impress other people will take away who you really are and slow down your progress to become the person you are meant to be.
In a previous job, I reported to someone who intimidated me. Part of it was his style. He believed that he was somehow more effective as an intimidating boss. My decisions were based on what I thought he wanted me to do. I wasn’t being myself. It was exhausting. It took so much energy to anticipate how I thought he wanted me to act that I had little energy left to be effective in my job. The stress of trying to meet his expectations was miserable.
I came to realize that I handed over control of my success to my boss. I lost my ability to make decisions based on what I knew was right and what made me happy. You lose a little bit of your soul when you give in to the need to impress other people. When I left that job, I made a promise to myself never to be intimidated by someone again. I have since forgiven him mainly because I recognized my responsibility to make the decision lead my own life. To remove the feeling of intimidation:
- Identify anyone who intimidates you. What about this person or these people makes you feel intimidated? Maybe they have achieved success that you aspire to achieve. Maybe you lack self confidence to own your own success. Be very clear and honest with yourself about why you are intimidated.
- Make the decision to not be intimidated. You may need to just start out acting like you are not intimidated. Eventually you will believe in yourself enough to avoid being intimidated by anyone. More about acting like your success can be found here.
- Be on the lookout. It is almost like avoiding an addiction. Once you are intimated by someone, you have to be aware of anytime you start feeling intimidated. Make the decision to not be intimidated as soon as you feel it.
Handing over your success to someone else because you are intimated by them will not lead to personal success. Your success becomes their success. After working for someone who intimidated me, I made the decision never to be intimidated again. I continue to find success on my terms, not anyone else’s. It is now my success.
“With confidence, you have won before you have started.” – Marcus Garvey
“I am master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.” - William Ernest Henley
Have confidence in yourself to keep anyone from intimidating you.
Who intimidates you? When have you been able to avoid being intimidated by someone?