The best way to tell a lie is to make up a story based on truth. Liars add some truth in an attempt to convince that it is the truth. A lie is not 100% truthful.
Have you ever felt like someone was dishonest with you? You know when someone isn’t being honest. When someone isn’t honest, you can pick-up that something isn’t right. Its kind of a sixth sense to know when someone isn’t telling the truth. Mark Twain may have said it best when he said, “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” It is a lot of work being a liar because you have to remember the truth and the lie.
People can appreciate your honesty even if they don’t like your answer. My wife, is possibly the most honest person I know. She is also one of the best lie detectors I know. When you ask her something she will give you a direct, honest, and truthful answer every time. If you lie to her and she picks up on it, she will never forget it.
Recently, my wife was asked to go shopping with a friend. Without hesitation she thanked her friend and then explained that she was tired and just didn’t feel like shopping. I thought, how can anyone argue with that? Even if her friend didn’t like her answer, my wifes honesty has earned her a reputation as someone who is always truthful.
Honesty doesn’t only apply to other people, but also to you.
If you think you are protecting a relationship by not being honest, you are actually causing damage. When you arent truthful:
- You extend the decision unnecessarily. Why not decide now and be done with the conversation. Postponing a decision because you don’t want to be honest, keeps the decision in limbo unnecessarily. This is wasted energy.
- You put an additional burden on you. When you are dishonest, you have to come up with a plausible reply. It is a reply that you will now have to remember. This also is wasted energy.
- The other person isn’t living with reality. If they believe your story, the other person now believes your reply. Eventually they will either learn the truth or you will need to tell them the truth. Hearing the truth later is much more difficult than telling the truth in the first place. More wasted energy.
- The relationship slowly deteriorates. Being dishonest just one time, takes a toll on the relationship. Relationships are built on trust. When you are dishonest, a chunk of your relationship is taken away. If you are compulsively dishonest, the relationship slowly deteriorates to nothing.
When someone asks you something, tell them now. Don’t wait.
- Go with your gut. Usually your first thought is the answer you should give. Stick with it. Don’t spend time worrying how the other person will feel when you are honest.
- Say it nicely. Just because you think the other person may not like your answer is not a reason to lie to them. Appreciate the offer and just explain your answer.
- Be responsible for your honesty. You can only be responsible for you. If the other person decides to be offended by your honesty or get mad, then that is for them to decide.
People appreciate honesty even if they don’t like it. You will build your credibility and respect with the other person, especially when honesty is difficult. The silver lining is that the other person knows you can be trusted. And, that is a most attractive quality.
What have you recently been honest about? What did your honesty do for your relationship with the other person? Read other people’s comments or write your own here.